By Abby Scott

As a young mom, I’ve already experienced a whirlwind of emotions and faced numerous challenges in my motherhood journey. I’ve had my fair share of struggles and life-changing events, including the heartbreaking loss of my own mother. It was a lot to deal with in a three-year span, and I’ve grown in deep ways through it all.

I want to talk about a turning point in my life that profoundly influenced my approach to motherhood. Shortly after having my son, my eight-year-old niece came to live with us. It’s no secret that an eight-year-old is a world apart from an eight-month-old, and my niece had already been through a lot.

In my attempts to support her, validate her feelings, and provide her with a safe space to just be a kid, she would occasionally open up about what troubled her the most. Every time we spoke, she would say, “I can’t remember the last time I saw my mom happy.” Wow. This statement struck a chord in me.

As mothers, we’re often taught that happiness is something we must sacrifice for the sake of our children and spouses. We readily give up our own happiness in order to prioritize our families’ needs. But is that what our loved ones truly want? And what do we really sacrifice when we neglect our own happiness?

These questions led me to reflect on my own experiences as a mother, and I realized that by focusing on my happiness, I’ve gained so much more.

I have the joy of a better relationship with my husband. When I make an effort to be happy, my relationship with my husband improves significantly. It’s simple, really—he’s happier when I’m happy, and our bond becomes stronger.

I’m more excited to spend time with my kids. Focusing on my happiness means that I’m more excited to spend time with my children. I don’t harbor any resentment towards them, and our moments together are filled with love and joy.

I’m embracing a fulfilling life. By prioritizing my happiness, I’ve been able to cultivate a rich and fulfilling life. I now have close friends, engaging hobbies, and healthy habits that contribute to my overall well-being.

Does this mean I no longer make sacrifices for my family? Absolutely not. I still make significant sacrifices, but because I also take care of myself, I’m better equipped to handle these challenges.

Finding balance in motherhood

So, how can we find balance in motherhood and prioritize our happiness without compromising our responsibilities as moms?

Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries for yourself and your family. Know when to say no and prioritize self-care without feeling guilty.

Embrace your passions: Rediscover the hobbies and interests that make you happy. Carve out time in your schedule to pursue these passions.

Build a support system: Surround yourself with friends and family who understand your journey and can offer emotional support when you need it.

Communicate with your partner: Openly discuss your needs and desires with your spouse. Work together to create a supportive and nurturing environment for both of you.

Don’t be afraid to seek professional help. It can be scary to feel overwhelmed or unlike yourself and scary to seek help from a medical professional. Getting professional help is nothing to be ashamed of. That extra support carried me through postpartum.

By focusing on our happiness and well-being, we can become better mothers, partners, and individuals. After all, our children don’t want a mom who’s constantly sacrificing herself; they want a happy mom who can be present and engaged in their lives.

In the end, my journey as a mother has taught me the importance of finding balance in my life. I’ve learned that my happiness matters, and by taking care of myself, I’m better able to take care of my family.

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